Today Matters

Over the past week or two, I’ve been talking a lot about being excited to go home. After talking to a friend tonight, he told me not to wish away my days. I got really frustrated he was saying this to me and I wasn’t sure why. Was I upset that he was accusing me of something as ridiculous as wishing my days away? Did he interpret that as me not appreciating my time here? Or was I more upset that maybe he was right. The more I think about it the more I wonder what exactly I’ve taken away from this experience and what I wish to come of it from this point on. I want to know what happened to my enthusiasm? What happened to my goals? Recently it feels likes everything has become redundant and now I’m too eager to move on to the next phase of my life. I’ve developed this “been there, done that” sort of attitude. Maybe I’m just trying to deny all the things I haven’t yet accomplished because subconsciously it's too difficult, too far fetched- Like forming bonds with the Italians. I don’t know the first thing about forming bonds with Italians. I can hardly even speak their language. Maybe I don’t know how I can become more independent than I already am. I want to be able to come out of this and say, I had the time of my life and I’ve been moved by this experience. I want to be moved in the way that love and faith has moved me in the past. Maybe my expectations are too high and my mind too focused on everything else that I’m overlooking the most important things. Maybe I just need to have a little faith and let a little love in. Maybe I should start thinking about today. Think about what I can do to make today great. Take a moment to think about what I want out of life and apply it to today. Because before I know, I'll wish I had and I'll never get this chance again. Maybe I just need to think of all the possibilities, pick one, and make today matter.

When i first arrived abroad I was determined to travel to all of the places I wanted to go, regardless of whether or not anyone wanted to go with me, or if I was close with people I found to travel with. Since Barcelona however, my outlook has changed completely. After an interesting weekend to say the least, I realized that traveling is truly much more fun when spent with people you enjoy to be around. While I've gained confidence in myself, my ability to figure things out alone, take initiative, and be the independent person I've always strived to be, I've realized that not everything is peachy perfect. Traveling to a new destination always leaves room for uncertainty, uneasiness, none of which are comfortable states to be in. Before I begin describing a bit about the weekend and what may have caused this realization, I can say that if it wasn't for my closest friends being with me to endure it all by my side, and staying positive through it all, I wouldn't have enjoyed my weekend at all and I seriously would have reconsidered traveling again. And that would have been a huge shame.

On that note, as soon as I arrived home from Barcelona, I got on my computer and after having debated whether or not I wanted to fly to Paris to see my longtime friend Alan, or have him come visit me here, I chose to be completely spontaneous, because that's allowed with people you know, and suggested we meet up somewhere instead. I requested the beach and he suggested Portugal and two days later our flights and hotel were booked. Yep, I'm going to Portugal in 3 weeks.

Now, BARCELONA!

(photo taken by Kylee Seacat, above)

The first hour or so of arriving was rough between ripping my j.crew jacket (I've never felt such heartache), one of my friends almost getting stuck on the metro by herself, and then her arm almost getting stuck with her luggage on one side of the door and her body on the other, and moving into our hostel with diarrhea stains on one of the beds (props to me for finding such a classy hostel). We packed minimally and grunged it the entire weekend. It wasn't long before we realized that there are types of men far creepier than the Italians we are used to. One particular evening we were sung to by a drunk in a bar who then tried to drink our sangria and eat our food and became aggressive when we told him he could not and that he should leave. Later that night we were literally CHASED by some crazy spaniard all the way back to our hostel. Yeah, Barcelona was quite an adventure. Traveling on your own is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before, granted I wasn't alone but most trips I've been on before have almost always been planned out for me. On one hand it is liberating, on the other hand it’s a huge responsibility.

Although Barcelona is a city, it is much more laid back than other cities we have been to thus far. This may have partially been due to the fact that we were on our own time schedule. Deciding what to do and when to do it was very nice and we accomplished everything we had hoped to, visiting the well known sights such as the

Sangrada Familia

Park Guell

(photo taken by Kylee Seacat, above)

the beach

(photo taken by Kylee Seacat, above)

and the Picasso Mueseum. Of course we took full advantage of the existence of Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks, both of which we visited several times a day.

Now that we've had our fun, it is time to buckle down writing papers, studying for exams, and in my case, painting pictures for midterms this upcoming week. The worst part about it is that it is supposed to be absolutely beautiful outside, nearing 60 degrees and sunny for once in our lives, and I can hardly enjoy any of it. Well, I wish I had a bike so I could bike to the park and work there. I may just have to make the walk.

Oh yeah, I apologize sincerely for not posting pictures promptly. This I will work on.

When in Rome and after

Since settling into Florence once again, things are indeed starting to look up after my long and uncomfortable weekend in Rome. I will first talk about my weekend and then proceed to update about some of my courses since I haven't written anything about them thus far. Aside from being completely stressed out from such a large metropolis, I managed to visit many famous sites in Rome such as the Colosseum

the Arch of Constantine

The Pantheon, Piazza Novona, Castel S. Angelo, Trevi Fountain

Vatican

(St. Peter’s Basilica and Vatican Museum, Popes Tombs) and much more. Free time was spent exploring around the city and finding our way to see ruins and the National Geographic exhibition (very cool). We stayed in a snazzy four star hotel that API arranged for us, with the best complimentary breakfast ever. The weather was beautiful (in the 60's- practically bikini weather) and aside from the yummy breakfast I ate every morning, St. Peter’s basilica remains my favorite part of Rome. It took over 100 years to build, and I still can’t imagine how such a structure was built with such precision and DETAIL! Well you can take a look at the pics, but it’s really something you have to see for yourself.

Overall I didn’t enjoy Rome as much as I had hoped I would. Rome is much more city-like than Florence- much bigger, everything is more compact, and there are many more people around. It’s hard to breathe and a little overwhelming. I couldn't handle it. I’ve been to Rome before but at the time I never considered living in such a city. Going back a second time while abroad made me realize I couldn’t live in such a big city. I may not ever want to live in a city ever again, not unless it had a huge park, or if it was right next to a jungle. One thing I can’t wait for when I go home is to smell fresh grass and run around on it without shoes!! I also started to realize that I would never want to move permenantly to another country in which I don’t know the language. Living in Italy without knowing much Italian has been quite challenging as well as embarrassing. It has prevented me from getting accustomed because I cannot communicate very well with the Italians and learn more about their culture through them. I still feel separated from them even though I’ve been living amongst them for over a month now. My biggest goal at the moment is to learn more Italian, practice, and hopefully meet more Italians to communicate and form bonds with. I think that will make me feel much more connected.

Lately I’ve definitely noticed myself becoming more independent and secure with myself. I do much more exploring on my own with ease. I feel confident walking alone along the streets of Florence. On excursions I don’t always need to stay with my friends. I don’t always need to do what my friends are doing so that I feel included. I am becoming more and more comfortable knowing that I don’t have close friends here. I've accepted that this is okay. Several times I’ve taken initiative such as planning trips, leading my friends on the hike up to Cortona, and navigating us through Rome. Seeing myself grow, even in the small ways, definitely helps me to look on the bright side of everything.

Today God graced me with the most beautiful day. A day I have most certainly been waiting for. Tuesdays are usually my favorite day of the week because it is the day I take my walk to get groceries. It was warm enough outside to walk to class without a jacket- During Italian we had to write things that we do in our free time. I told the class in Italian that during my free time I eat lots of bananas. They laughed which made my great day greater. After class I made the long walk over the bridge to the big grocery store half listening to all of the birds chirping and half listening to the most uplifting song I just discovered on my sisters computer. On the way I stopped by the park to swing on the swing set. I bought food for 20 euros, walked home eating cheesy bread, and got down to work planning out my schedule from now until midterms. I went to yoga and received love that came in a large envelope in the form of birthday and valentines cards from my friends at school. What a great end to such a wonderful day!

I haven't written much about my courses so I'll give you the scoop about them. My classes have been going great. In watercolor we have taken trips to paint the panorama of Florence and nude models, two things I have never painted before. Its been a unique experience and the best part is that my watercolor painting skills are improving! Last week in my international art business course we went to a privately owned family gallery not open to the public. We were extremely lucky to see it- my teacher told us she had been trying for years to get in contact with them and when she finally did, she had to book a day for us to go 6 months in advance! All the hundreds of artifacts we saw were not for sale any longer, simply on display for the family and friends of the family. To give you some perspective on some of the collected items, we spotted a painting by Peter Rubens. I didn’t realize the significance of this artist until I read in my art business book later that day that paintings of Peter Rubens have been sold for around 76 million dollars. HOLY COW! We were only a few feet from one of his great masterpieces!! In my world of museums course, we are studying the function of museums. During most of are classes we take field trips around Florence to visit and study museums. It is interesting and of course, always very exciting to take field trips every class! I am learning more and more Italian, but as I mentioned earlier, not quickly enough as I only have my Italian course for 2 and a half hours a week. My printmaking class has been very enjoyable and I definitely feel like I’m getting more out of it than I would if I was taking the course at Saint Michael’s. We get to experiment much more with different techniques and use methods that are only used in Europe. Hopefully I will have some neat prints to bring back with me at the end! Normally I don’t have an incredible amount of homework during the week however now that midterms are approaching, I have realized how important it is going to be for me to plan out my days so I can get everything accomplished. For my five courses, I will have to produce 10 paintings (for Watercolor), 6 prints (for Printmaking), and I will have 3 exams and 2, 5 page papers to write. Small sacrifices for spending a semester abroad I guess!!

I’m heading to Barcelona with 4 of my friends early Friday morning. I’ll update when I return! (And hopefully upload my pictures within the next day or so, if my internet gets any faster..not likely)