Today Matters

Over the past week or two, I’ve been talking a lot about being excited to go home. After talking to a friend tonight, he told me not to wish away my days. I got really frustrated he was saying this to me and I wasn’t sure why. Was I upset that he was accusing me of something as ridiculous as wishing my days away? Did he interpret that as me not appreciating my time here? Or was I more upset that maybe he was right. The more I think about it the more I wonder what exactly I’ve taken away from this experience and what I wish to come of it from this point on. I want to know what happened to my enthusiasm? What happened to my goals? Recently it feels likes everything has become redundant and now I’m too eager to move on to the next phase of my life. I’ve developed this “been there, done that” sort of attitude. Maybe I’m just trying to deny all the things I haven’t yet accomplished because subconsciously it's too difficult, too far fetched- Like forming bonds with the Italians. I don’t know the first thing about forming bonds with Italians. I can hardly even speak their language. Maybe I don’t know how I can become more independent than I already am. I want to be able to come out of this and say, I had the time of my life and I’ve been moved by this experience. I want to be moved in the way that love and faith has moved me in the past. Maybe my expectations are too high and my mind too focused on everything else that I’m overlooking the most important things. Maybe I just need to have a little faith and let a little love in. Maybe I should start thinking about today. Think about what I can do to make today great. Take a moment to think about what I want out of life and apply it to today. Because before I know, I'll wish I had and I'll never get this chance again. Maybe I just need to think of all the possibilities, pick one, and make today matter.