I was thinking more about what I said previously, when I realized that my struggles are not better or worse than at home, only that they are different. Since I’ve overcome many of my initial struggles during the transition period from living at home to living abroad, I’ve realized how content I’ve been with myself since I’ve been here. I haven’t had to deal with the anxieties I feel at home, or the insecurities and stresses from the dramatic situations that always seem to arise at school. I haven’t had any men in my life and haven’t felt the need to impress anyone. My friends here don’t know everything about me, since we’ve only known each other for a few months, but I feel completely myself here in my natural state of happiness. Maybe it’s because I’ve been lucky to surround myself with really positive people. Maybe at home I can’t seem to escape unhealthy situations. Maybe I can’t always change what I’ve been given. I’m hoping that when I return home, I will have matured and learned to handle certain situations more wisely. My worst fear is returning home and realizing that I didn’t grow as much as I thought and my life will return to the monotonous life it once was, the one I wanted so badly to take a break from.

I’ve almost reached by 7 countdown and I feel torn about returning home. I’ve been thinking about everything I’ve experienced upon being here. All the people I’ve encountered, all the places I’ve seen, everything I’ve learned. Although I love Italy, it has been about having the chance to change the pace of my life, explore in a foreign world and learn to appreciate every change and experience I have that makes this trip so great. If you ask me if I’ll miss Italy, I’ll say sure, but what I will really miss is having the chance to live something completely new.